Distant to Determined

Have you ever had a moment where you didn’t feel anything? You woke up that morning and appeared to just be functioning on familiarity and not on intent?  For example, You drove to work but don’t really remember the drive, you just know that you arrived safely and on time.

Today, I work up with this same feeling. I drove to work, made my morning coffee and I just felt blah. I texted my spiritual twin/sister  (you should get one if you don’t have one) and asked her to cover me in prayer. I briefly explained that nothing was wrong, I just felt blah. For some reason, this actually bothered me today. I haven’t had a “blah” day in a while so I began to wonder why I felt this way.
After a while of just sitting with my thoughts, it dawned on me that what I felt wasn’t really blah but of the feeling of distance. This past weekend was very fulfilling. We celebrated our son’s 8th birthday, I got a new hairdo (super cute) and I worked a lot on my wedding planning content, However, I didn’t spend time with my Father. Sure I know he is always with me but this weekend, I wasn’t intentional with my prayer and study time. I noticed today that I felt a little distant.
It’s amazing how quickly this feeling can enter our hearts and mind. Our Father in Heaven desires to hear from us daily. He misses us when we don’t speak to Him. I have been praying that God helps me grow closer to Him and today he used this feeling of blah to express that he has heard my prayer. You see, I am a feeler, I often respond based on how I feel (yes I know its good and bad) and my Father in Heaven knows this. He allowed me to feel blah for a moment. Why, because in the feeling of blah, he spoke to me and expressed that he missed our time together. Even as I write this blog, I feel Him confirming that he wants more of me. He wants more of my time, my heart, my worship, my everything. He wants all of me.
You may be going through a feeling of blah and I ask this of you. How is time with God structured within your day? How much time are you spending with him? How intentional is your growth with Him?
If you have been distant, don’t become weary or heavy burdened. God is Faithful and patient. You don’t have to worry about yesterday. Today, at this very moment you can restart. Take the next few moments to just pray and ask God to work with you. Pray intentional prayers. Here is an example:
Lord, you are faithful and patient. I come to you just as I am. Today I seek you with the desire to grow closer to you. Help me to manage my time better so that I can place you first. Our time together is necessary. Forgive me for my displacement of you before. You are my Father and I love you. Thank you for forgiving me daily. Take away the restlessness or anxiety I may feel and help me to burn a fire in my heart for you. You are good and true. I am glad to be your child. I love you. Amen.
Of course, you can use this prayer or use your own. God just wants to be with us daily. Be intentional about your time. He will speak to you in ways that you will know and understand. In my case, God often reveals his heart through my writing. He designed you in His Image. Trust that he will show you the way and that provisions have been made in your favor. You are loved.
Don’t be distant, be determined.

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